Another guest reviewer, The Infinite Jester, helps us enforce restraint on the Yelping tards of the world. He is author of the hilarious blog, Smile Naked.
original review written by Steve M.
critical response by The Infinite Jester
Hopefully everyone has been following the trials and tribulations of my hair, but yet again I was forced to make a change.
>>>I hate you already. We've only just met, and I can already see the little Astro Boy spike on the front of your bangs that broadcasts to everyone within a 50 yard radius that the shrill, squeaky, "Jack from Will & Grace" voice is coming from you.
You seem to live a Reality Show in your head. Probably something that merges The Real World, Queer Eye, and The Biggest Loser. I don't watch any of those shows, and I'm sure you'd be voted off in the first episode of all them for being the guy who slapped the judge.
I've never hated somebody in less than once sentence before. It's a euphoric experience and I can't wait to see what other remarkable droplets of inanity you have in store for me. Hopefully you'll regale us on why you were "forced to make a change." If we're lucky, it involves a homeless man, a bottle of tequila, and a monkey.
After following my stylist from one location to another she decided to move to DC without any consideration about who would cut my hair while she was gone so the quest for a new stylist begun yet again.
>>>That fucking bitch. And to think, you put her and her children through college. No, wait. That wasn't you. In fact, someone as self absorbed as you probably made her tease and touch-up every follicle before you'd even feign satisfaction, and never tipped.
The extra time spent on you probably cost her in lost clients. She moved around town several times before finally leaving town? Dude, she's running from you.
I decided to go back to Halo but this time to the Bucktown location where I met Melissa my new stylist until she decides to leave, move out of state, or quit and pursue some other career.
>>>All, I'm sure, you will be the direct cause for.
She definitely knows how to cut hair and she has been there awhile which is always a good sign.
>>>And yet, she hadn't heard of you. How did you not scratch her bitch eyes right out?
Halo's are always $45 for a hair cut, but I find that it is well worth the money compared to the hair-cuts you get at some of the other chains. Also they offer the free two week touch up if you can find the time to stop back in which is nice.
>>>A feature that we can all assume you abused to the very brink of "company-wide policy change." Why wash the cum out of your hair, when you can just get a "touch up," right? Or is that too harsh?
Was it more of a last minute panic session, when you realized that one hair was floating just a bit too far to one side, and you only had an hour to get to the club before the House DJ left for the night? (I can see you charging in, screaming at the poor bastard getting a "Z" shaved into the back of his head to get the hell out of your chair, because this is an emergency and the meter is still running on the cab out front.)
Plus the $45 gets you a scalp massage, hand treatment, mini-facial and a free drink. What else can you ask for? I would give it 5 stars, but it is 45 bucks.
>>>I rest my case on the earlier "no tipping" assessment. But seriously, sounds to me like you aren't going for "a haircut," as you claim. Like, for instance, "Sure, they charge $200 for a massage, but it's the best massage in town. I've been to a lot of massage parlors, and this place is really worth the money. The free blowjob is nice too."
I highly recommend giving Melissa a chance to be your next stylist.
>>>Or, just send her condolences cards and listings for cities she might want to move to.
No comments:
Post a Comment